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Sunday, April 27th, 2003
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2:20 am - no more lives spent wasted by the door
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this journal has indeed been updated since April of '03... it's just... ya know... friends only, like i said in the bio and such.
my friends list isn't set in stone, though-- i dig new compadres in a big way. so if for whatever reason my journal strikes you as one you'd perhaps like to read, then by all means, leave a comment here. i'll add ye to the exclusive ye olde friends list, and much entry-sharing shall commence.
i don't post all that often, and i'm not that big of a commenter, but i read... religiously... and i'd love to read you. so come on in. i don't bite. ;)
hoo-ah.
current mood: lovely
current music: inner noises
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| Wednesday, April 16th, 2003
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8:32 am - =P
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SENIOR SKIP DAY!!!
current mood: muahahaha! take that!
current music: iggy pop... louie louie
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1:36 am - these allusions
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everyone goes to sleep eventually.
everyone succumbs.
even i.
but not tonight.
i know my time is coming; i feel it electric in the air
like crashing guitars in the maddest lights.
missions completed, needs appeased,
the relentless throb of a craving day
released
current mood: awake
current music: jeff buckley... back in nyc
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| Tuesday, April 15th, 2003
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4:44 pm - good god, i love this song.
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I was born in a pool, they made my mother stand
And I spat on that surgeon and his trembling hand
When I felt the light I was worse than bored
I stole the doctor's scalpel and I slit the cord
I was a Catholic boy,
Redeemed through pain,
Not through joy
I was two months early they put me under glass
I screamed and cursed their children when the nurses passed
Was convicted of theft when I slipped from the womb
They led me straight from my mother to a cell in the Tombs
I was a Catholic boy,
Redeemed through pain,
Not through joy
They starved me for weeks, they thought they'd teach me fear
I fed on cellmates' dreams, it gave me fine ideas
When they cut me loose, the time had served me well
I made allies in heaven, I made comrades in Hell
I was a Catholic child
The blood ran red
The blood ran wild
I make angels dance and drop to their knees
When I enter a church the feet of statues bleed
I understand the fate of all my enemies
Just like Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane
I was a Catholic boy,
Redeemed through pain,
Not through joy
I watched the sweetest psalm stolen by the choir
I dreamed of martyrs' bones hanging from a wire
I make a contribution, I get absolution
I make a resolution to purify my soul
I was a Catholic boy,
Redeemed through pain,
Not through joy
They can't touch me now
I got every sacrament behind me:
I got baptism,
I got communion,
I got penance,
I got extreme unction
I've got confirmation
'Cause I'm a Catholic child
The blood ran red
The blood ran wild
Now I'm a Catholic man
I put my tongue to the rail whenever I can.
---------------------------------Jim Carroll
current mood: robopup roadkill
current music: beck... bottle of blues
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| Thursday, April 10th, 2003
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11:04 pm - baby it's understood
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anybody want a personalized limerick?
i promise i'll do these, since they can be produced in a matter of a few minutes, unlike complex and somewhat kinky politicoreligious sketches previously requested;]
***break a leg, Dearborns!!!***
current mood: so good. so good.
current music: the beatles... drive my car
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1:17 am - the inquisition, what a show!
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the DOS went so well today. much to the principal's dismay, i own that school. muahahaha... nothing like an este to stir up some controversy.
will post in poetry_orgy.
someone slap me... things are way too marvelous right now for it to be real. good Karma, perhaps? what'd i do to deserve this? oh wow.
*grandest grins*
love you!
current mood:  mellow
current music: opie and anthony
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| Tuesday, April 8th, 2003
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4:39 pm - d-day
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| Monday, April 7th, 2003
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5:40 pm - song for a lifetime
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You can't depend on your family
You can't depend on your friends
You can't depend on a beginning
You can't depend on an end
You can't depend on intelligence
Ooohhh, you can't depend on a god
You can only depend on one thing
You need a Busload of Faith to get by, watch, baby
Busload of Faith to get by
You need a Busload of Faith to get by
You can depend on the worst always happening
You can depend on a murderer's drive
You can bet that if he rapes somebody
There'll be no problem having a child
And you can bet that if she aborts it
Pro-Lifers will attack her with rage
You can depend on the worst always happening
You need a Busload of Faith to get by, yeah
Busload of Faith to get by
Busload of Faith to get by, babe
Busload of Faith to get by
You can't depend on the goodly hearted
The goodly hearted made lampshades and soap
You can't depend on the Sacrament
No Father, no Holy Ghost
You can't depend on any churches
Unless there's a real estate you want to buy
You can't depend on a lot of things
You need a Busload of Faith to get by, wow
Busload of Faith to get by
You can't depend on no miracle
You can't depend on the air
You can't depend on a wise man
You can't find them because they're not there
You can depend on cruelty
Crudity of thought and sound
You can depend on the worst always happening
You need a Busload of Faith to get by, ha
Busload of Faith to get by
Busload of Faith to get by
------------------------------------Lou Reed
current mood: mighty fine
current music: all your poor huddled masses
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| Sunday, April 6th, 2003
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1:41 am - the stars gleam, the poets dream
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i feel so good.
i only wish i had someone to sing to.
five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes...
current mood: mmmm.
current music: rent
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| Thursday, April 3rd, 2003
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10:06 pm - goodnight, ladies
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so um... guess who got into college.
yeah, that's right.
ME, baby, meeee.
!!!
current mood: wooohahahahaaa
current music: lou reed... dirty blvd
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| Wednesday, April 2nd, 2003
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6:53 pm - can't depend on your teachers
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the paper came out today, and here's my editorial that i'm ridiculously proud of... i just scanned it as opposed to typing it all over again, so tis damn huge, but eh. have a read, if you like.
( two columns to kick hypocrisy in its cracka ass )
i'm going to bed in 45 minutes, for i must go to school at 6:45 am, travel to U of I, and whore myself once again to the gods of competitive testing... this time at the state level. one day of one-on-one quality time with the bitchy asst. principal, Mrs. Jackson. i have a strategy: a continuous wax on/wax off pattern of impress/offend with an occasional stun. then, after i get third place on the state english test, we will return to her car, i will pop in some lou reed, and i will light a cigarette with the window down. "oh, mind if i smoke?" heehee. this oughta be good.
nothing from lang yet. *twitch*
oh yeah...!
this is just too good. you will roll on the floor in fits of laughter. would you like an apple pie with that?
wicked witch pics coming soon. now i am tired and must sleep, lest tomorrow be an even deeper circle of hell.
current mood: strangely
current music: lou reed... busload of faith
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| Tuesday, April 1st, 2003
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10:31 pm - i would teach my feet to fly
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since when is english class supposed to invade upon your private thought? and am i to be cool with this pillaging? because i'm not. i don't enjoy having to compromise my selectively permeable shell for a grade from a woman i have mediocre respect and much disdain for. fuck me.
on a happier note, i got my lovely roadworthy monie some deco tonight... an izzard sticker ("i poke badgers with spoons") and a muppet sticker with kermit in a director's chair with megaphone saying "can i get some action?" i'm positively tickled, and she is happy as well. *purrrrr*
i feel ghastly, and i want to do nothing but curl up and sleep forever. i wish i never would have gone to that fucking blood drive... i would have been just fine until i kind of randomly collapsed after months of bodily strain. but this placebo shit has got me paranoid.
current mood:  exhausted
current music: joni
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| Sunday, March 30th, 2003
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10:52 pm - watching my mailbox watching my mailbox watching my mailbox...
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i'm supposed to hear from Lang by april first.
it's march 30th. tomorrow is march 31st.
AAAAAARRRRGHGHHHHHH!
current mood: flippin' OuT, maaan!
current music: coldplay
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2:57 am - i started looking for a warning sign
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had some bloodwork done... a number of things are potentially very very wrong. i don't know anything for sure yet... tis lying heavily on my mind.
i feel pretty good about myself, though, like i'm a positive aspect of some people's lives... and you know, that's all i could ever ask for.
well, that... and for certain people to be a little closer.
and the truth is
i miss you
current mood: a huggy bear with empty arms
current music: coldplay
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| Thursday, March 27th, 2003
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6:47 pm - dig this, baaaaby
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i am everyone's favorite fashion disaster.
current mood: kooky
current music: billy joel
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| Tuesday, March 25th, 2003
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12:41 am
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why do i always have to be one of those fucked-up manic-depressive inconsolable people?
current mood: posted in poetryorgy
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| Wednesday, March 19th, 2003
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11:19 pm - malnutrition is good for you once in a while
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some anonymous fuckers dressed in vandal black chucked huge rocks at my car tonight on the way home. hit it, too. i guess everyone's feeling destructive. i'm too tired to be pissed. there was something cryptic about it, though... and something stopped me from pulling a Uey right there and giving them what for... this morbid fear overcame me and all i could do was keep driving with two ding nouveaus unspoken for in my driver's side door. combined with psychological happenings and everpresent neuroses of mine, the tingling arms, the cramping jaw, the lack of (name-your-necessity-here)... it makes for one fucked-up situation.
i miss the hell out of greg.
and i want to know just how the fuck i became a member of this quasiforum! i joined no such sad little community; this means that either someone knows my password and has been at play, or that things are much more fucked-up than was originally thought.
too dead to care. goodnight.
by the way, never play an iconic character. step offa that stage and you immediately transform into mickey mouse at disneyland-- and the little kids are all over you like ants on spilled pepsi. oh, the horror.
current mood: exhasuted and anxious as hell
current music: shawn mullins
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| Monday, March 17th, 2003
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11:28 pm - because god is james mason
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i would love to hear what eddie izzard has to say about this iraq shit.
THE CHURCH OF ENGLAND JOKE!
Have you ever impersonated Sean Connery? You might
want to try it; it seems to be in your nature.
Just try not to offend too many people.
Which Eddie Izzard Joke Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
current mood: blowin' it all off, baby
current music: eddie izzard... dress to kill
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| Sunday, March 16th, 2003
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11:19 pm - i can only pick up vibrations
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like a time bomb on reset, you see...
revamped the userinfo. it was about time, i think.
spoot.
execution by christmas lights seems to have its own irony...
current mood: see line three
current music: mental echoes of flickerstick
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| Thursday, March 13th, 2003
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11:12 pm - don't she purr
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children, i have done it. i have purchased my car, and it is wonderful. i went through the DQ drive-thru tonight in the middle of rehearsal with a full carload and full wicked witch makeup (i have triumphed! i am the witch of the west gothic drag style!! will post pics in costume next week), new car. you gotta try that sometime... the looks you get... whoo.
i miss greg. i wish i didn't.
and hey, i'm missing my copy of The Vagina Monologues... did i loan it to someone from chicago, maybe? did i even take it to chi with me? i'm baffled.
( some kind of improvised poem )
i think i really like this one.
but now i have an allnighter to pull, so feel free to give an im if you like. goodnight, loves.
current mood:  quixotic
current music: ween
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beindigoe's journal